When Dads Do Lunch

The last time Funny Daddy and I were at The Baltic some tedious woman complained quite loudly about the quality of her Full English Breakfast. From where we were sitting the food looked pretty damn good and we almost reached over and took it for ourselves. So this time as we brought our boys downstairs to the cafe it didn't take us long to convince ourselves that we should sample what they had to offer. It didn't hurt that there wasn't a calorie counter in sight and our argument was that if the quality of the food was good then there wouldn't be that much fat or that many calories in it. A sounder argument has never been spoken in the history of life

We were not let down and found it even harder to work out what the silly woman had been moaning about. Bacon, sausage, black pudding, fried bread etc etc etc. all cooked well and all good quality. I'm drooling as I write and I can also feel my left ventricle slamming shut.

As our boys sat and ate their dry and sad looking food they started to lean over more and more to the point where drool could be seen gushing from their mouths. Being strapping men (well one of us) we would only let a small percentage of our foods off our plates and into the mouths of babes. These breakfasts were manly breakfasts for manly men not for little boys.

The wee man and his little friend both have a way however of getting things they want by giving a look that melts your heart in a second. They often charm the pants off women in cafes or restaurants and the looks they gave us today increased the quantity of tasty food they got. This will be an excellent skill to master in the future but beware anyone who they hypnotise... your phone may go missing but more than likely your sausage and bacon will leave your plate in a flash.

jpr