This is a graph. A very poorly drawn graph but a graph non the less. If you want science and things done properly you're reading the wrong blog. Stick with me though because there is a point to this whole thing.
This graph is important because it is an artistic impression of me and in particular my unhealthiness. The purple line going up is my weight and the blue line going down is the amount of energy I use now on a day to day basis. The graph begins from the first day I took over from The Chancellor. As you can see, from my rudimentary drawing on Windows Paint, as soon as I took over I started doing less and therefore gaining weight at a steady level. I'm not fat by any means but I have put on a great deal of weight. This isn't helped by my diet returning to what it was when I was a student.
Now I've never been particularly bothered by my health because I used to have a physical job and could work off weight gain very quickly. But today as I pushed the wee man in his pushchair through alpine levels of snow, I quickly realised I'm not the man I used to be. I arrived at my destination, sweating, panting and close to collapsing. My heart hasn't pounded like that for a while.
It didn't get much better on the way home as I had to stop at least five times to rest, pretending to look in on the wee man in case anyone thought I was knackers. He just lay there unaware of my toils through the snow. But today and my embarrassment has made me rethink my diet and exercise regime.
I'll start exercising but not until the snow has melted and I also need to finish all the cheese in the house first. Naturally.