Today the wee man turns one so I say to you happy birthday
to you, happy birthday to you... yada yada yada.
Between us, The Chancellor and I have managed to keep him
alive for 365 days which has to be, by far, my greatest achievement since
completing Zelda: Ocorina of Time for the N64 games console. In this time we
both have had roughly six months each with him and I can’t claim to have taught
him anything important except for patting his hand to his mouth to sound like a
Warrior Indian or saying the word ‘egg’. I’m not sure I can pretend, with this,
to have built on the solid groundwork that The Chancellor laid down in those
formative months.
But there have been a couple of important things which I
have exposed him to in my period of residency.
Firstly, Rachel Riley...err I mean Countdown. It’s all about
the education in our house. I’ll keep telling myself that. But Countdown has
given me the most endearing thing I have ever seen in my life. When the thirty
second countdown begins the wee man begins to dance in time with the beat. It
is a wonderful sight to see but I think he dances better than me, which isn’t
hard.
Secondly, Prime Ministers’ Question time. This is our avid
Wednesday lunchtime viewing. Most children get cartoons the wee man gets
intense political debate. I’m not sure this interests him as much as Waybuloo
does but he will get used to it and it might teach him a thing or two about
being liberal with the truth. This might make the teenagers years difficult. There are a number of other things including free jazz but
that is far too pretentious to write about so I won’t make myself sound like an
idiot. If I haven’t already.
Anyway tonight a few glasses of wine will be raised to my
ace son. And only another 17 years left until I can charge him rent or
kick him out.
jpr
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