Friday, 30 November 2012

Super Fun Christmas Day Out (Without Me)

Tomorrow the wee man is being taken to see donkeys and Santa. This will be his first visit to see good old St. Nick and depending on his reaction it may be his last.

Now I'm not really an animal person (real animals like bears and wolves are interesting but farmyard stuff then no) nor am I a Christmas person except for my CD of Medieval carols and Home Alone 1 + 2 so I have managed a dodge this particular outing. I have been aware of this Christmas fun day for a while so from the outset I declined going as it would give me a chance to have some child free time. There have been last minute attempts from The Chancellor and my mum to get me to come but I have kept the battlements well stocked with soldiers and I've resisted. My defences will not be broken and with the spirit of all the English Kings I will sit on the sofa, put my hand down my pants and watch Saturday afternoon football.

I have seen some pictures of some of the wee man's little friends sitting on the lap of a Santa and some don't look overly excited but maybe a second later they will burst into laughter and have a wonderful time. Or they burst into tears to a have a life long crushing phobia about fat men. I hope it isn't the latter and they enjoy Christmas every year. I'm sure the presents would distract them anyway.

Some other parents I know have been a bit unsure of sitting their children on the knee of Santa including me. But that is because Christmas time brings out the best in SUPER CYNICAL MAN! Don't talk to strangers but you can sit on one's lap if he has a beard and a red hat. I am a Grinch but I do loosen my ways when on Christmas day I drink and eat loads of meat. In the truest of styles.

So I hope the wee man isn't scarred for life or scared by a strange man his little helpers. If he is then it's SUPER CYNICAL MAN to the rescue where I can tell him all about when Oliver Cromwell banned Christmas and the world seemed a happier place.


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