Saturday, 20 October 2012

Look At Me Dad I Can Walk! But Dad Is Out Buying Wine.

Not sure where to start today with so much happening. But maybe I should start with the most important thing. To coin a phrase 'One giant step for man...' The wee man decided to take his first steps today as I went out to shop for wine. Top man. To progress onto the next level we've always coaxed him with things he shouldn't or can't have. To get him to crawl we placed our laptop on the other side of the room and because he always coveted it and its bright and colourful screen he tore across the living room just so he could bash away on the keys. This time though he walked towards a blond woman, take form this what you will. With our friends from home up for the day and night they were entertaining the wee man which of course he loves as he was able to flirt away at his hearts content. With our teacher friend's hands held out he was released and took some proud steps towards her. I have tried numerous times to get him to walk to me and he hasn't budged, put an attractive blond woman in front of him and he is away. Despite this he is now well on his way to being even more naughty and cheeky than he is now.

These steps have made up significantly for last night. As is always the way when The Chancellor goes out for the night without me something always comes up which means I have a really crap night. One night at the start he had colic which meant him crying for three hours straight. I crumbled that night being by myself but have toughened up now often just turning the monitor off. Anyway after a grizzly day I was very excited for a night in by myself with the wee man tucked away in his cage. But how plans are spoilt. As The Chancellor is about to leave he does a Linda Blair and vomits excessively all over the floor. Messy. So messy and annoying on so many levels. The Vanish comes out and there I am scrubbing away at undigested pasta stars that litter the floor. Not what Friday nights are made for. So The chancellor heads out after all is cleared away and the wee man is finally asleep. Then half an hour later it happens again but all over his cot. The horror, oh the horror. So everything needs to be changed, sheets, clothes and more than likely carpets. And I am by myself. the horror. Half an hour later all is clean and I collapse on the floor nearly crying. The house by the way smells bad. Really bad.

The moral of this story is quite clear, never have children. They stink, literally. But then they walk and that's pretty cool.


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