Saturday, 15 September 2012

Smug Comes Before a Fall

At some point in your life you will have met and spoken to a really really smug person. You can't miss them. They talk at you, usually with their eyes closed, in a very condescending tone. They exist in an air of their own self satisfaction. I've met a few really smug people in my life and always wondered how I managed to get into conversation with them and spent that time thinking of how to get out of the conversation. I have an elderly neighbour like this and he is hard work.

When it comes to children these people get even more annoying. They always want to tell you how much better their child is than yours. Their child can do no wrong. They have slept through since day one, fed perfectly and they've never had a bad poo. The only thing they are missing is a halo. Tedious, tedious, tedious. So it came as a bit of a shock to me when I caught  myself doing that exact thing, telling people in a condescending manner that 'My child doesn't really cry anymore, and grown out of all those baby things.' I was basically saying my child was smarter and more advanced than every other baby. What a dick I must have looked like. Really, I cringe at myself thinking about it. If I had been listening to me I would have swung a right fist at myself just to shut me up. Dreadful. So I vowed from then on that I would never say things like that again.

And so, as life has a habit of doing, this comment came back to bite me in the arse. For the last week the wee man has done nothing but cry. 'Yes he has really outgrown that crying hasn't he!?' I think to myself as I suffer one of many meltdowns I am to have that week. Everything seems to converged at the same time, illness, teething and tantrums. The Chancellor even had to take a day off work just to help and save me from a nervous breakdown. If this continues for another day then I'm running off to Mexico. I'm not sure why Mexico it just seems to be where people go to run away.

Improvement in the wee man has been slow and arduous and I hope by the time The Chancellor goes back to work he will be better and he can actually smile again. As I write this the crying begins again which probably means it's my turn to take over.

I promise in life I will never be smug again and make such stupid comments as 'My child doesn't really cry anymore'. Jamie you are quite clearly a moron.


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